Domestic violence continues to thrive in our local communities
and we, as residents, don’t do enough to stop it.
The numbers from local law enforcement agencies show that
domestic violence is a part of our society. More than 760 cases of
domestic violence were filed with the District Attorney in
2009.
According to a report published by the United States Department
of Justice, nationally 24 percent of women murdered in 2007 were
killed by a spouse or an ex-spouse while 21 percent were murdered
by a boyfriend or girlfriend
These numbers don’t take into account abuse against seniors,
emotional abuse or other less traditional forms of abuse and even
if they did, victim’s advocates say the problem would still be
tragically underreported due to the fear and shame associated with
domestic violence.
We have the figures to prove domestic violence is a problem but
we lack the will to end this plague in our community.
We can start by being honest about what’s happening. Domestic
violence isn’t just a lover’s quarrel or a normal part of a
relationship. When you hear about an “incident of domestic
violence” or a “domestic conflict” you are reading about the
horrific, often brutal degradation of a human being.
Once we acknowledge the implications of domestic violence, that
the victims are subjected to daily torture from the people they
love, we have a responsibility as compassionate, responsible
citizens to help those in need but the same tired excuses are put
forth time and time again to justify letting violence continue.
“I didn’t know what was going on.”
We may not know the details of any domestic situation but we can
all recognize the red flags associated with abuse. If someone has
unexplained (or more likely, poorly explained) injuries, changes in
behavior, lacks basic independence, avoid topics in a conversation
or otherwise seems to be in fear of their partner, that is a sign
of abuse. To dismiss a red flag as “that’s just how they talk to
each other” or “they can work it out” is nothing more than
self-deception. We all know when something doesn’t feel right and
the next step is taking action.
“I don’t know what to do.”
The first step is to talk to the victim. For many victims, basic
human contact is something they sorely lack and it’s important to
show a level of compassion. If you can’t talk to them, you
absolutely have to call someone. Call the police (431-3377), call
the YWCA (546-1234), call your church, call Human Services
(565-5855) but you have to make the call.
“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”
If someone is being abused, they are already in trouble and your
intervention could be their only lifeline. If the claim of violence
is unfounded, no-one will suffer. However, if a victim is being
abused, your call will get them out of trouble.
“I don’t want to get involved.”
The clichés abound: to be good, we must do good, all that is
necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing,
apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand — and they are
all true. We can’t consider ourselves “good” people if we let
terrible things happen to others. Getting involved, even if it’s
just an anonymous phone call, is a requirement of
preventention.
Abusers are trying to control people through fear, intimidation
and violence. As bystanders, we may not be subject to the violence,
but if you choose not to act because you’re afraid of the
repercussions then the abuser succeeded in controlling your
behavior in the same way they control their victims. There are
simply no good excuses for inaction. This newspaper has spent the
past 10 weeks highlighting different aspects of domestic violence.
We have discussed the services available, victims, volunteers,
childhood implications and forms of violence. All the tools to
create a community of educated and motivated violence prevention
advocates are available to us and all we need to literally save the
lives of our friends and neighbors is stand up for what is
right.
— Matthew Hall

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